The action of trusting has always been a difficult one for me… especially in regards to God. And when I really think about it, He is the ONLY one I really can put every particle of my trust in. Then why don’t I? It’s because I think I should be able to do it on my own, of my own strength, by my own power and might. Ha! Good try, Bess.
I’m human and I live amongst humans, and well, we really aren’t so trustworthy. We aren’t very strong. We fail. ALL the time. In my own life I have failed my friends, my family, and myself. I’m not strong enough. But I know one who is.
The song Too Proud by Enter the Worship Circle has always struck me, right to those sensitive heart strings. It’s a song about pride, weakness, release of control, and finally trust…
“I’m too proud to ask, too broke to eat
Too weak to bow, too strong to bleed
Can you sing over me words of comfort?
Can you satisfy me, sweet honey?
Can you break through me, with your strong hands?
Can you undo me, enough to heal me?
You take the weight from my shoulders
My hands were clinched now they’re open!
I’ll take your goodness, pour it from the sky
Food from the ravens, water from the dry well!”
The process of support raising has really showed me how much I don’t trust the Lord. I find my self agonizing over the what if’s…. what if I worded my letters all wrong, what if my letters got lost, or were sent at the wrong time, what if I offend someone, what if I start working an extra shift, what IF?!?! And on and on. It’s exhausting. But, God is showing me, everyday, that it doesn’t have to be like this… I don’t have to carry this all on my own.
As soon as soon as I release control and begin to trust the Lord I see His goodness revealed everywhere. When I stop building layers of safety nets, and stop making 100 back-up plans just in case the Lord doesn’t come through for me, I find myself in the present, on firm ground, with a promise of the Lord ringing in my heart. You can trust me, my love will never fail you!
10 Many are the woes of the wicked,
but the LORD’s unfailing love
surrounds the one who trusts in him. (Psalm 32:10)
5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing the LORD’s praise,
for he has been good to me. (Psalm 13:5-6)
8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I entrust my life.
9 Rescue me from my enemies, LORD,
for I hide myself in you. (Psalm 143:8-9)
I want to know that it was not by my power that I made it to Africa, but that it was only by the hand of the Lord. I want to be rooted and established in deep unshakable trust. I want to see, more clearly everyday, the unfailing love that surrounds me. I want witness the movements of the Lord, the wind made visible!
8 But I am like an olive tree
flourishing in the house of God;
I trust in God’s unfailing love
for ever and ever.
9 For what you have done I will always praise you
in the presence of your faithful people.
And I will hope in your name,
for your name is good. (Psalm 52:8-9)
Everyday I have to release going to Africa to the Lord, and trust. He has good things for me, and his UNFAILING love surrounds me… ha, not bad for a simple girl from Montana.
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13)